Bedauern
by Togane Shiro
Summary: /He thought he wouldn't see that face anymore. He thought he wouldn't be able to hear that voice anymore./


"Are you sure you will be staying here, Levi?"

Everyone was already on their horses; ready to leave this place, ready to search for a new _home_ outside the wall. Levi crossed his arms over his chest and leant on the pillar. It burnt his skin a bit; the pillar was exposed to the sun all day. But that didn't bother him, as long as it's not dirty.

"Yes," he nodded, "I've made up my mind."

"I see. See you, then. I hope we would meet again." Erwin smiled and rode his horse away with the others. When they finally disappeared from Levi's sight, he turned around and entered the castle that was once used as the headquarters of the Scouting Legion.

His legs brought him to the underground floor. He had gone through this staircase countless times before and it never had been comfortable down here. But this kind of environment didn't differ much from what he had lived in before Erwin recruited him to join the Scouting Legion. It was pretty much the same.

He himself didn't know for what purpose he came down here for now. His legs just brought him to the place he visited most. Before, it was because a certain brat was here. And as for this time, it's not like there would be anyone down here anymore.

(He was so sure that brat would not be there.)

So, that's why he was so surprised when he saw that brat there, sitting as if he's waiting for someone to come. His eyes widened and he couldn't move his body even an inch. He thought he wouldn't see that face anymore. He thought he wouldn't be able to hear that voice anymore.

_["Hello, Corporal."]_

* * *

_**Bedauern**_

_**Shingeki no Kyojin © Isayama Hajime**_

_A/N: What drama, haha-ha... /nervous laugh/ Uh, beware of OOCness from both characters._

* * *

"Why are you here, Eren?" asked Levi.

Eren scratched his nape and smiled, "Well, I couldn't just leave Corporal here alone." He lowered his hand and glanced at Levi. Levi was sitting on the chair in that room and eyeing straight at Eren. "What about you, sir? Why are you still here?" Eren asked back.

"... I just couldn't bring myself to leave this place."

He stood up and walked closer towards Eren. He raised his hand―and that made Eren flinched; he thought the (former) corporal was going to hit him. But that hit never came. Instead, he felt his cheek being caressed by that hand. Eren slowly lifted his head to look at those dark irises, "Is there something wrong, Corporal?"

Levi hugged him, "... Nothing. You can sleep in proper room from now on. You don't need to sleep in a prison like this anymore."

"A-Alright. I'll move my clothes, then―"

"Yes, and just bring them to my room. You will be sleeping in my room." Levi cut Eren's sentence before he could finish them. What Levi said had given Eren quite a surprise, in _his_ room? "Uhm, pardon? Your room, Corporal?" he verified, unsure with what he had just heard.

"You've got problem with that, brat?" Eren tensed up instantly upon hearing that intimidating tone Levi gave. It appeared that intimidating tone of his still worked well on Eren. "N-No, sir! Nothing at all." Eren quickly answered. That respond made Levi smiled. A _very_ thin one. But of course Eren didn't realise it.

Levi patted Eren's head, "I'll prepare some coffee while you move your belongings."

And with that, Levi left that dusty prison.

* * *

It had been a while since then. They were just spending their daily lives―still in the former headquarter of the Scouting Legion. Most people had left for the outside world already, but some of them still remained; and they are one of them who stayed.

The sun was out and Eren was spreading the clothes to dry in the sun. He was the one to do the laundry and cooking. Both of them did the cleaning. But sometimes Levi also helped Eren with his work. For example this time, Levi already had nothing to do so he approached Eren and helped him hung the clothes.

"It finished faster thanks to your help, Levi -_san_," said Eren while lifting the empty basket. "I'll prepare the lunch now. What do you want to eat?"

"Anything's fine as long as it is edible."

Eren was not the best cook, but Levi enjoyed eating them at least. Sometimes he quietly asked for seconds and Eren gladly took his plate and gave him more. Eating with your loved one should make the food tasted better, no?

(Ah, yes, it should.)

Aside from the food, Levi also enjoyed watching Eren cook. Eren had always worn that black apron while cooking, and maybe that was the reason Levi would sit there and stared at him preparing something for them to eat. Sometimes Levi would hug him from behind and gave him some kisses or bites on the neck and Eren would flinch at his action. Then they would have to delay their meal time for that.

He really loved the change of colour in Eren's face.

* * *

The sky had gotten dark, it had been raining since noon and showed no sign of stopping. It should have been around the end of the rainy season, but the rain still kept on pouring day after day. It was cold, each day and night always gave Levi chills. That was such an unpleasant feeling.

Levi shifted on his sleep; he turned around and faced Eren. He was sleeping so soundly, his chest went up and down due to his own breathing. Eren wore such a peaceful face when he was sleeping that Levi would just stayed awake and stared at his sleeping for hours. He brushed off Eren's fringe to the side. It had been years, but nothing had changed from Eren. Nothing changed at all, whereas Levi was starting to show signs of getting old. He was not in the _young_ age anymore when he first met Eren after all.

He leant in and kissed Eren on the forehead, convincing himself that the Eren here is real. That he really existed here beside him.

"Say, Eren. Do you... regret the decision you took? Is that why you're here?" he said softly, almost like a whisper.

He never expected a respond. He was just talking to himself, mumbling to himself. But then Eren chuckled softly. It surprised Levi, he thought Eren was asleep. Eren opened his eyes and just smiled at Levi. He didn't reply; he just stared straight at Levi. Levi furrowed his eyebrows, "What are you laughing at, Eren?"

"Well, Levi-_san_. Instead of me, shouldn't it be _you_ who were regretting it?"

Him? Regretting his action? Don't be a fool. Levi didn't regret his action at all, he wouldn't.

"I was being selfish. I knew I would die no matter what options I chose, so I decided I wanted to die by your hands, despite knowing it would hurt you. You value humans' life more than anything, so of course it would pain you the most. I'm sorry." With that apologetic look, Eren brushed his finger along Levi's face.

Cold. Eren's fingers were so cold, but it felt nice on Levi. It was Eren's touch after all.

"You actually didn't want to kill me, right?"

"I had decided not to regret―"

"Regretting is not something you decide for, Levi-_san_," he smiled, "If it's true that you're not regretting it. Then how do you explain me being here with you for all these years? You know I'm dead, and you ignored that fact."

Levi clenched his shirt, cold sweat dripping from his forehead. The sounds of heavy breathing filled the room as the rain had stopped since a while. "Stop it, stop." He kept mumbling those words out of his lips. He tried to suppress those images of when he killed Eren. He didn't want to remember. He didn't want to feel _that_ anymore. He didn't want to accept the fact that Eren was dead, killed by his own two hands.

The blood which dirtied his hands, uniform and face.

The head which flew two metres away.

―_No, stop it._

It was shocking when he heard the order from the higher-ups to kill Eren. It was saddening to see Eren's still smiled sometimes despite knowing he would die soon. It was painful when he had to cut that neck off its place.

He claimed he regretted nothing. It was his duty, his last mission.

(And yet he couldn't deny the fact that he was so thrilled when he saw Eren in the underground prison that day.)

_["So you did―no, do regret it, Levi-san."]_

* * *

He opened his eyes slowly and blinked a few times to adjust the amount of light entering his retinas. He pinched the bridge of his nose; he had a massive headache first thing in the morning. Just what caused him this headache? He wondered to himself.

He rose to sit on the bed and yawned. It seemed like he didn't get a good night sleep last night. He looked at the clock hanging on the wall; almost ten. Ah, it's too late already. He planned on riding to the closest town to get some more food supply today, but it seemed he had to cancel that plan.

When he was just about to get up, a small tug on his shirt and a familiar voice stopped him from leaving.

**.**

**.**

**.**

_["Good morning, Levi-san."]_

* * *

_**End.**_

* * *

_A/N: /cries in the corner/ Uhh... what had I written? It turned out worse than what I had in mind. I wrote this in more or less a week, then edited it for hours but still couldn't get 'yes, this is it!' feeling orz Sorry and thanks for reading this through the end. Aaand I know the story/ending is kind of unclear, you can ask me if you want to know what actually happens, though orz_


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